Press Briefing by Apprentice Planetary Custodian Lirs Tirtully
Capitol Press Room
The Epicenter, Epicinea
77:01 Central Hermetic Time
The Epicenter, capitol of Epicinea
As you all know, I've just returned from the final stage of my training before I become official Planetary Custodian. This journey led me to four different ecosystems, ending in the Deserta Primerta, where our beloved Acusa blooms once again. I studied the ways of different peoples and new organisms and experienced firsthand the problems our planet faces. First, I traveled to the city of Saplus, our great city in the trees. The balance there is threatened by a wave of mordens, an invasive rodent species from the forest floor that has overwhelmed the tree community. From there, I made my way across the continent of Crispis to reach our largest lake, Myevgo Lake, where I studied recent fluctuations in pH levels. Then, to vast gypsum mines of Larsatva. In that country, aboveground temperatures are brutally cold that all citizens live below ground and use solar energy. With these good people I studied energy use and conservation. And finally I arrived in the Deserta Primerta where I studied water conservation and harvested the Acusa, which is in bloom again after ten years. Now, I return to you prepared to lead our planet, our parent into the future. We will continue as a planet to strive towards balance. We will live gently with Epicinea and love this planet as we love ourselves. For, we are Epicinea. Epicinea is our past and our future, our progenitor and our offspring.
Questions?
Q Apprentice, do you feel prepared to lead our quest for planetary balance?
I have travelled the ecosystems of Epicinea and analyzed their problems. I have studied under Planetary Custodian Drumajii Hender. I have sought to understand all people and all organisms on our parent planet, and at last, yes, I do feel ready. I am eager to continue our protection of the planet.
Q Apprentice, do you feel that our planet is more out of balance than it was when Drumajii Hender came to power ten years ago?
No. The ecosystems on any planet are full of complex, fragile relationships. At any given time, it may seem that the biomes are on the brink of chaos. But, that is why we have the position of Planetary Custodian. It is our function to keep these fragile relationships healthy and in harmony. There are new problems to be faced now, but, for example, the Gulago Ocean is much less polluted than it was ten years ago.
Q Apprentice, can you talk about the search for the Acusua?
Of course. When I reached the Deserta Primerta, before searching for the Acusa, I studied several water-saving animals of the desert. Then I began my search. The Acusa blooms once every ten years, but there is no map of the inner-reaches of the Deserta Primerta. I wandered on foot for three days, sleeping by day in my shade tent, which converts the energy of the desert sun into a refrigeration system. I walked by night, looking for the phosphorescent glow of the Acusa. Then, a few hours before dawn on the third night, I saw a rose-colored glow up ahead. After so long a search, I thought at first that I was imagining in, but as I drew closer, the glow became more and more clear. At last, I was upon it and I saw, for the first time, the Acusa. I knelt before it and plucked a petal from the profusion of blossoms. I chewed it and settled in to see what would happen. I won't tell you about the visions I had, but suffice to say, they were wondrous. I spoke to Epicinea and our planet answered. Friends, our home is truly blessed.
Q Apprentice, do you predict that the choice of a new Planetary Apprentice will go smoothly?
I see no reason why it shouldn't. We have gathered all intersex children between the ages of five and ten. Quite a handful, let me tell you. But, they show great promise and I'm sure the ceremony will go smoothly as always. We can look forward to a bright young Apprentice who will fill my place when I succeed Drumajii Hender as Planetary Custodian.
And now, friends of the press, I must leave for a conference with the Planetary Custodian and the Counsel of Plantetary Advisors. I am sure that I will see many of you tomorrow when I choose the next Apprentice Planetary Custodian. Goodbye. Dwell in harmony.
